False Caramelized Onions
Ever been to a place that had caramelized onions on the menu for no good reason? And then, when you order them, they're like dark brown and more sweet than a caramelized onion should be? The hipster gastropub places that charge 12 USD for a basket of fries are pretty notorious for this. Sometimes, they'll be more honest and just list them as "grilled onions." (That list of local suppliers on the wall is still a fucking lie, though.) They're literally just putting brown sugar on them.
That's it. That's the secret. You get a half-assed faux-caramelized onion in like 20 minutes. As a topping for munchie-type stuff, it works about as well as an actual caramelized onion. If you make them with butter, they even feel a bit nice. I've seen fifty pounds of these grilling at once. It smells amazing when you're like two feet away.
WHAT YOU NEED
- more finely diced onion than you think you need
- some salt
- some brown sugar
- oil or butter
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HOW-TO
- Heat a pan or small pot over medium heat and add your fat of choice, then toss in the onions and salt lightly.
- When the onions have started to turn translucent and brown a little, mix in the sugar
- Let the onions cook until the sugar has melted, then let them cook a while longer. Mix them up every now and then until they start to darken.
- Dump your onions in a jar or bowl. As they cool, they'll get darker and start looking like the restaurant ones.
TIPS AND TRICKS
- The funny thing is, cheap places like In-N-Out or old mid-century burger kiosks in small towns don't do this. They actually grill their onions dark the old way, on a flat-top with a bunch of meat juice. It takes a long time, but they do it.