playlist of stuff from when I was 16
disorganized playlist of stuff I used to rock out to when I was 16 and would just walk around town for hours in the evenings because I didn't want to be around heterosexuals and my psych meds wouldn't let me sit down or sleep at reasonable times.
limp wrist is forever. i had like four shitty youtube rips of them and basically had them on playing on repeat all day long lmao. i'd say my fav was a toss-up between "fake fags" and "i love hardcore boys, i love boys hardcore"
there was a lot of ncfm. i pirated like every ncfm song i could get
i used to blast "five finger discount" in my earbuds at target because there were always LP goons following me around the clothing section. i guess i looked sketched out and I was holding my stuff close to my chest, but i wasn't even stealing. i was just ashamed to buy girl clothes and worried that someone from school would see me and try to jump me behind the FFA building or the gym or the performing arts building or the other gym (AGAIN lol)
i still love gerard way. i love him so much. i finally got to see him (and those other guys, too, I guess) and it was SICK
at one point, my idea of what florida was like was entirely defined by TBIAPB and a couple X-Files episodes (s5e4 Detour and s6e13 Agua Mala, if you care). when they're done being cartoonishly evil down there, i'd like to see florida.
i literally never think about 99% of the plan-it-x bands anymore. it's depressing. honestly, most folk punk stuff is unlistenable to me now, except for the later pat the bunny stuff
this is really lame but i used to listen to this song and pretend it was this one straight cis boy situationship of mine instead of brian sella, even though that dude wasn't talking to me anymore because he got cold feet and felt gay about it after HE kissed ME
it's weird looking back on these things because i feel like a completely different person now. did HRT change my orientation? since i IDed as a bi trap before I realized gender transitions were possible, was i just confused? was i looking for some kind of validation instead of actually wanting to be in a relationship? did being in better relationships with LGBT women as a young adult just positively reinforce me into seeking that kind of dynamic instead? idk. it's not really productive to think about but i still think it about at least twice a week, anyways. how tf does human sexuality work and why are all the therapists somehow wrong